Uganda ...and taking a bow with this

I will be headed out to SW Uganda within the next 24hours. I have never been to E.Africa before...scratch that, I have never been to another African country (story of my life) so I am pretty much very excited. hm, do you think they have plantain chips in E.Africa? yea, plantain chips is all my brain can think about as I type this :) So I will be living in a little, serene village for about 2mos...tucked away at the tip of the SW bordering the DRC and Rwanda. If I say I will be able to see Rwanda from my window, best believe it is not Palin speaking.

As I alluded to in one of my earlier posts, I will try taking pictures that fully represent this part of Africa. I will not necessarily be seeking out the poor or the beautified parts of this region; guess I will find out if this part of Africa is in the "mis-represented" category.

Omo, so the time has come for me to say goodbye to ATUPA. (I like to delude myself that you guys will miss me :) I know this is rather abrupt and that I barely took residence in blogsville for half-a-year but I find that ATUPA has got to make way for something else. I will still be around tho, and I will leave ATUPA opened (just in case I hav a sudden gust of nostalgia :) I may start off a new blog ... or may just be one of the famous anon commenters. I may also start a picture blog on the Ug village life as Omo Oba to wrap up ATUPA ...or maybe as someone else...or maybe not even a picture blog. Whatever the case is, I will still be around. No men, you thot I was done with the free therapy on blogsville? Omo, not even close.

I thank you for all your support, dialogue and comments on ATUPA.

I wish everyone a safe, happy and fruitful summer.
Peace y'all.

Summer book list + other rant

Do you ever feel like you give someone bread and in return, they give you a snake? Well, thats where I am right now. It is said that you should love and treat others the way you want to be loved and treated but uhm that rule of reciprocity has passed me by. I have gotten to that point in my life where I want to become a mean arse...at the point where i need to stop investing in friendships, so that when u get a snake in return, u know hey! thats ok, didnt do much so dont expect much either. This isnt Christ-like at all, I know. But please, allow me not to think about that now. This is just mere ramble. I dont know where I am going with this. But honestly, I am at the point where I am burnt out with being a 'nice girl' or a 'good girl.' I want to be a bad girl. So I also prayed earlier this year for God to teach me how to talk without necessarily saying the truth or telling a lie because I cannot tell a lie to save my life. I am still praying...

Anywyas, so yea, I came here to put up my summer book list...that is, books I hope I will get to read this summer or within the next year.

1. Bad girls of the Bible by Liz Higgs

No pun intended here with Bad girls of the Bible on my book list. It was actually recommended by my mom. Author Higgs talks about Eve, Delilah, Michal, Potiphar's wife, not forgetting Rahab and the Woman at the well. What can we learn from the bad girls of the Bible? will see...






2. God of small things by Arundhati Roy

From Wiki: It is a story about the childhood experiences of a pair of fraternal twins. The book is a description of how the small things in life build up, translate into people's behavior and affect their lives. The book won the Booker Prize in 1997."







3. The Burma boy or/and The King's Rifles - both by Biyi Bamidele

Never read any of Biyi Bamidele books so will have to give one a try. Appraised in Essence magazine (edition?).









4. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

A prequel to the Da Vinci Code. To the naysayers and yeasayers both, Dan Brown is a great fictionist, blasphemer or not.

5. Purple Hisbiscus by Chiamimanda Adichie

Enough said right? A lot of you have read this. I haven't. Should get on it asap, I know.








6. Dreams from my father by Barack Obama


Another one I dont have to say anything about.









7. Unbowed: a memoir by Wangari Maathai

In 2004, Maathai was the first African woman to receive the Nobel peace prize for her work with the Green Belt movement in Kenya.









8. Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers

If you are a Francine Rivers fan like I am, I have heard that these series are a must read.









9. Dead Aid: Why Aid is not working and How there is a better way to help Africa by Dambisa Moyo.
Recommended to me by commenter, KG. And after she did, seems like everywhere I turned, people were talking about this book. Author Dambisa, by the way, is a very impressive Zambian economist.








10. The opposite house by Helen Oyeyemi


Nigerian-british author, Helen Oyeyem,i in this novel talks about Santeria, a religion that is a fusion of Catholicism and West African Yoruba beliefs.
Oyeyemi is also the author of Icarus girl.







Others include:
11. The Abyssinian boy by fellow blogger, Onyeka Nwelue
12. When she was white: A family divided by race. By Judith Stone
13. Beasts of no nation by Uzo Iweala
14. Love in the time of Cholera by Gabriel Marquez
15. Eat, pray and love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Please, also share ur book list and/or comments/appraisal/criticism of these books so that I can add or subtract from mine :)

Some Proverbs' verses that crack me up

NIV:
Go to the ant, you sluggard; considers its ways and be wise
Prov 6:6

Do not eat the food of a stingy man,
do not crave his delicacies;
for he is the kind of man
who is always thinking about the cost.
"Eat and drink," he says to you,
But his heart is not with you.
You will vomit up the little you have eaten, and will have wasted your compliments.
Proverbs 23: 6-8

How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from sleep?
Prov 6:9

A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come on you like a bandit,
and scarcity like an armed man.
Proverbs 6:10-11 and 24: 33-34 (yop, same verse repeated 2ce!)

Do not love sleep or you will grow poor,
Stay awake and you will have food to spare.
Proverbs 20:13

The sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
He is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth
Proverbs 26:15

Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house,
too much of you and he will hate you.
Proverbs 25: 17

Do not say to your neighbor,
"Come back later, I'll give it tomorrow"
when you have it with you.
Proverbs 3:28

Better to live on the corner of the roof,
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife (or spouse).
Proverbs 25:24

It is not good to eat too much honey....
Proverbs 25: 27a

Give beer to those who are perishing,
wine to those who are in anguish,
let them drink and forget their poverty,
and remember their misery no more.
Proverbs 31:6-7

A gossip betrays a confidence,
so avoid a man who talks too much!
Proverbs 20: 19

Obviously, God is able to instruct His children with a sense of humor.
Enjoy.

baby girl

baby girl, honey, sweetie, sugar, pie...

So I realize my name may be a chunkful for them ndi ozo* to pronounce but at least, I sometimes deign to shorten my name to an Americanized 2-syllabled form (which I will call bla/bla here). But even with my beautiful, given-name mercilessly butchered to bla/bla, some choose to ignore this shortened version and proceed to call me honey or sweetie pie! Like I told them my parents were hungry or did not have food to eat on the day of my naming-ceremony.

Before I came to this Amrika, I swore never ever to shorten or change my name for anyone. Well...all that tori changed fast when I started teaching 3-5yos sunday school at church, and I quickly became known as bla/bla. Bla/bla holds no meaning whatsoever for me (hence bla/bla) but I have learnt to just deal with it since I dont want to spend 5mins getting people to say it right during introductions. My poor mother cringes each time she hears it. The funny thing tho is that my sis also uses bla/bla each time she calls to order food from a restaurant, whether or not I am with her.

The 2-sided street of my life is that while my oyinbo* friends call me bla-bla, I insist on being called my real name by anyone who has an African tongue. Why?

Becuz I believe very very strongly in the power of names. In my opinion, names are bearers of destiny. I don't mean to offend anyone by this but just to give u an idea on how strongly i believe in meaningful names: I have little or zero patience for English names...except biblical names...and even at that, if I were Catholic, I would insist on christening my children with proper, indigenous names.

It is not like I don't use endearments myself but at least I also call people their names. I only wish people would not reduce me to my ovaries by calling me honey, sugar, or sweetie. I know there are also Nigerian guys out there who don't know u from -ish, but then call you baby girl!?!?!! That word (or is it phrase) just sends shivers down my spine.

I have an identity, and it starts with my name. Acknowledge ME. Acknowledge my individuality... by calling me MY NAME.

ndi ozo, oyinbo - anyone not African, Caucasians

Light-skinned and superior...???

Dude: physical attractions for me are - light-skinned, long black hair (her own hair, as in no weaves, nothing artificial), flat tummy, big boobs, figure 8 and at least 5'6.

Me : haha, good for you. You realize I definitely dont fit into your book right? I wish u good luck in finding your Barbie.

Yea, that was one conversation I remember having with this dude back in my freshman year. But conversations like that have kept coming up. Only yesterday, another guy told me that he thinks light-skinned girls are cuter than dark-skinned girls. Excuse you?? say what? Did you take a look at me??? On a more serious note, I frankly asked if he realizes that his comment might be subtly racist. And he said wtf, racist ke? that light skin is only his sexual preference.

So what do you guys think? Sexual preference? or racist under-tones? Are sexual preferences of light-skinned babes (or maybe dark-skinned guys) a tacit expression that COLOR does matter?

In Nigeria, there is a yoruba song that goes:
omo pupa o,
omo pupa lemi fe,
omo pupa, jo mo fe ran e.

Translation:
A light skinned girl,
I want to marry a light skinned girl,
A light skinned girl is who i want to love.

In my opinion, I think all of the light-skinned preference issues by blacks is a very subtle way that black people dig holes for themselves. We prefer light-skinned people but when slave-owners used skin color to place mulattos (light-skinned blacks) as superior to dark-skinned blacks, we called it racism. My Ghanaian friend recently told me that for a long time in Ghana, light-skinned Ghanaians (a minority in Ghana) were treated superior to dark skinned Ghanaians. But that these days, things are changing in Ghana as more and more dark-skinned Ghanaians are becoming wealthy. I also recently (yea, all this while,I have been living in a cave) only found out about the age-old tensions between Haiti and the Dominican republic. These are 2 countries that are right next to each other, yet the lighter-skinned Dominicans believe that the darker-skinned Haitians are inferior to them. They should be brothers, yet they hate each other. Thot-provoking huh?

There is a story of a 5-year-old Caucasian girl who never having been exposed to black people in her short life, one day, sees a black person. The girl is shocked that such a filthy person should be out in public. Then, she turns to her mother and says, "Mom, why hasn't that man scrubbed his body?" Also, from my personal collection: another sweet, beautiful 4 -year old girl once asked me, while I was teaching Sunday school, why my skin is different from hers.

So yes, the superiority complex of light-skinned/white people is inherent in humans. I mean, I cannot berate this 4 or 5-year-olds for thinkin the way they do...we can only educate them that there are different colors of people in the world. But God has called us to love one another and treat each other equally.

Alek Wek, Sudanese world-famous model.

I would also not let myself off the hook here. Have you ever set your eyes on dark-skinned Sudanese people? They are not just brown. They are black! And even me myself, the first time I got to talking with one, I said to myself, "Damn! thank you Lord that I am not this black" Yes, this was my very ignorant self.....But, really, thank God that there are people like Alek Wek who are bringing new definitions to beauty....

...Because the truth is we all grew up playing with light-skinned, straight and long hair barbie dolls (those days before "Marvelous Malia" and "Sweet Sasha" Obama dolls went on the market). The world has had it ingrained in us that light-skin is preferable, that light skin is superior. Now that we are grown, what are we doing about this? Are we perpetuating the myth that light skin is superior by buying creams that promise to give us lighter tones? or by screaming while we are out in the sun, I dont want to be black! Dang! woman, u are black! Love it or die!

I used to heartily sing to the song, Omo pupa, before last week, when I suddenly started thinking about the deeper ramifications of the song...it may have very well been the movie, Omo pupa, that I saw on youtube last fri that got me thinking about this issue.

So for you men who love light-skinned women (and for you ladies who love dark-skinned men), my question to you is do you think your sexual preference perpertuates white supremacy ideals? Any takes on this issue? I would love, love to read your opinions (hopefully this long post has not scared you too much).

PS - Still on this issue, check out this book, When She Was White: The True Story of a Family Divided By Race. (will be part of my summer reads)
PPS - Also, on a similar issue, check out fellow blogger, Black Girl with Long Hair's post on Natural Hair Not Hot in Nigeria, and the comments it garnered (some very interesting and thot-provoking discussion here).

Peace y'all.

Omoge get pain

"It is a wig!"
That's what i have been wanting to scream since yesterday morning. Yesterday, May 4, was a land-mark birthday for me (u know, one of those birthdays where u can now drink margaritas legally without someone else using their id to order it for u). Anyways, so yes, seeing that babes is now old, I decided that it might be the right time to get a cute short hair cut (which I am still dying to get done). So a friend suggested that first, I try a weave or a wig to see how short hair looks on me....and uhm, since time and the state of my bank acct make no room to get a weave done, I decided to get a wig. Yes, a wig o! Not once did I imagine my life will come to wigs but eh, na so we see am.

"Oh my gosh, I love your hair cut" is what I have been hearing at school since yesterday morning, and in my head, I am going if only u knew... that the brand name of my "hair" is "it is a wig!" Each time someone opens their mouth to tell me how much they love my "hair, " I writhe. Even my teachers are saying "nice haircut." And I just shrink back in my seat, and whisper a weak "thank you." I dont know, I feel as if I am lying, and pretending to be someone I am not. I also have this dread that my wig will fall off in class one day...and omo, that will not be cute!

Because my roomates have also seen me in the wig, I dare not leave my room any longer without my wig on. In fact, yesterday, I was hanging out on the dining table with no wig when I heard someone turn the key at the door.... omo men, u should have seen the way I left what I was doing and flew to my room to get my wig! ehn, b4 they think some african juju is happening b4 their eyes. And then, to top it off, since in one of our classes, we take turns doing physical exams on each other, someone is going to want to palpate my scalp and realize that oops, I have no scalp under my hair. Men, whoever coined the phrase omoge* get pain forgot to emphasize that black omoges na im get pain.

To more serious matterz - I am thanking my Father above for another chapter in my life. I think I can look back at my life and say: mistakes made, doors closed, accolades achieved, windows opened, memories cherished, and lots of room for improvement. This weekend, a friend made me read thru my now defunct yahoo inbox account (remember, the days of yahoo mail?). Looking thru my yahoo archive, I reminisced on how optimistic and fiery I once used to be, and how far I have come from those days. I think as I have grown, I have sacrificied some of that fire, that zest for life, that passion I once had - all for maturity, and the cynicism that sometimes comes with it.

If I can speak for myself, life's experiences have left some of us jaded, some of us skeptical of life, of people and especially, some of us doubtful of the tremendous potential inherent in us. My prayer for us all is that the Lord rekindles our fire, that burning desire, and those childhood dreams we all had. That we realize that it is okay to still believe that we can change the world.

*omoge - a young woman

follow follow

BSNC tagged me way back but I uhmm... was kinda avoiding this... Anyways sha, tonight, I feel a mysterious pull to do this, aka follow follow. w/o further ado:

1. I hate talking about myself (did I say that b4?) Yea, I really do. Actually, I have issues talking about myself to other people. You know how people when they have plans about somethin or the other, tell you exactly what they are doing and where they are going, I find it hard to tell people (besides la famille) what my schedule for the day will be...yea, I am weird like that. And you know how in this american society, everything is about selling yourself...well, it is really hard for me to do that, walahi.

2. I am addicted. oh so addicted. to chewing gum. I finish a pack of trident in a day (18 gum sticks).

3. Two things I cannot stand in people:
i) people who brag for no apparent reason. Please, allow me find out about you. Dont put your stuff all in my face, thank you very much.
ii) materialistic people. The most materialistic everyday person I have ever met sits in front of me in class, and the good Lord knows, I hate to hate people but this chic makes me want to pull out my hair.

4. I want the most un-conventional wedding ceremony. I dont know, I just want something very different from the run-of-the-mill-white-wedding-gown-close-lagos-down ceremony. Even as I dey sit down talk so, I know, with the kind of family I have, I will end up just having a regular ceremony but uhm, it is okay to dream se?...thank God, I have a sister before me that they can do all the fanfare and blow all the trumpet for because me, I honestly don't see the point in the big wedding craze and I might just happen to elope and have a court wedding...

5. When I was in my teenage years, I used to think my mother hated me. Now, I love love talking to the old woman, and miss her berry mush.

6. I am attracted to humble guys who think before they talk. And guys who when they open their mouths, talk sense.

7. I am very afraid of committing myself to any relationship. I have not had any particularly traumatic experiences that should elicit this but it is just something that I guess I am dealing with because I would not lie, i love my independence, and I cannot imagine someone being in my space 24/7/365 - and me smelling their mouth and shyte every friggin' day of the rest of my life. Men, props to my parents, and all u married folks out there - you are my role models.

8. These days, I have major issues with speaking in front of people. The irony of it all is that my parents find it very hard to believe because I was an entirely different person when I was in Nigeria...i miss the old me :(

9. I am told that I have emotional tendencies but I could not cry when I watched the movie, Hotel Rwanda, even though everyone around me was balling.

10. I am not particularly fond of eating out (except for special occasions of cuz.) I love home-cooked meals, and try to eat healthy usually but that doesnt always work out. I constipate a heck of a lot and so, generally avoid eating pastries but nada, and I mean absolutely nada can keep me away from biggs! (oooh biggs, the thot of u just makes me salivate). I am a beans freak, I eat a lot of beans...and I think beans and yam (alasepo) is the sturvs!

whew! I actually did it.
And now, I am supposed to tag people...it is hard to find someone who hasnt done this yet but I tag Obla yoo.