"So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you. Do not turn aside to the right or the left. Walk in all the way that the Lord has commanded you, so that you may live and prolong your days in the Land that you will possess" Deuteronomy 5:32-33 (NIV).
"Do you ever get jealous?" my friend asked me. I could tell she was hesitant to ask me this. What if I said I don’t struggle with jealousy, and she was left alone with her feelings spread out in front of us, vulnerable and exposed.
In that moment, I had a choice to make - be honest and vulnerable with her or gloss over the truth with some spiritual platitude. To say out loud what I wish weren't true, or purport those feelings I wish were true. In a split second, I made the decision.
"Of course!" I responded. "I struggle with jealousy more than I wish I did." I watched her breathe a sigh of relief that she was not alone. And then we spent some time talking about the things we find ourselves being jealous of, how petty we feel about it, and how we keep our focus in the right place, redirecting our thoughts to where they need to be instead of running off on a jealous tangent.
I wish I wasn't prone to those jealous feelings. Jealous that this person got a book contract by a company that turned me down. Jealous that this person got booked to speak at an event I really wanted to do. Jealous that this person gets waaay more blog comments and waaaay more hits than I ever dreamt of. Jealous at this person's true gift for writing, and that person's unique blend of humor and profundity. Jealous of houses, clothes, weight. It's so base, so silly, so human.
God has taught me much about jealousy - how to turn from it, how to guard myself against it. But unfortunately, knowing what to do and actually forcing my mind and my will to do it are sometimes two different things. Through the years, God has shown me "the rest of the story" when people I was jealous of in the past had terrible things happen to them. And I heard His whisper: "Still want her life?" Oh, how ashamed I was for wanting what was never mine to have, because I couldn't handle the burdens that accompanied that life. He knew it, why couldn't I accept it? Yes, the big green-eyed monster does rise up within me unbidden, too often for my taste. I want to slay him forever but he seems to have multiple lives, returning again and again to take up residence in a heart that isn't supposed to be his home.
Do I ever get jealous? Absolutely. Do I want to be jealous? Not at all. Each day I focus on who God created me to be (complete with gifts as well as limits) and the situation He has placed me in. I re-situate my mental blinders so that I am not tempted to look to my right or my left. I keep my focus on Him, and Him alone. When I do that, jealousy has no place in my life. The trick is to keep doing that every day, learning to be content where He has me and resting fully in that.
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6 brought it on!:
True words. Also remember that you do not know the other persons story. You would probably not be jealous of their success if you knew the full story. Stay blessed!!!
Do I ever get jealous?Recently I assessed myself and re-assessed myself and my answer is NO! I always see some-one's progress as their blessings and my time will come and it makes me feel so much better not to say I never had the green-eyed monster around moi i did but I prayed over it!
Maxine - true, the grass might be browner on the other side if you look well enuff.
Shona Vixen - Thats a first, and that is just great that you are able to do that. I try to do that all the time, but sometimes I fail, u know? but thank God for His grace. yea, fire and die to the green eyed monster lol!
This is going to sound like a trite religious platitude....and I dont mean for it to, but I cant think of any other way to say this:
When jealousy arises, it might help to look inwards and to count your blessings. When you think about what's going right in your life and in the ways that God has blessed you, then perhaps it'll matter less how he's blessing someone else.....
just a thought
Obla yoo, not a platitude at all because we all sometimes forget to be thankful. Its also actually MaryBeth's way of fighting the bad green monster. But as she says, its easy to say look inward and count your blessings...but when things are going awful for you, and everyone around u seems to be doing well, it could be hard. However, in good and in bad, He is still on His throne, and we should trust Him because he alone sees the final big picture of our lives.
thanks for the link to the devotional Proverbs 31 - never heard of it.....was inspired by you to also start my own personal blog (locked)....hope all is well with you, dear
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