Atupa

Uganda ...and taking a bow with this

2009-06-14T02:03:00.015-04:00

I will be headed out to SW Uganda within the next 24hours. I have never been to E.Africa before...scratch that, I have never been to another African country (story of my life) so I am pretty much very excited. hm, do you think they have plantain chips in E.Africa? yea, plantain chips is all my brain can think about as I type this :) So I will be living in a little, serene village for about 2mos...tucked away at the tip of the SW bordering the DRC and Rwanda. If I say I will be able to see Rwanda from my window, best believe it is not Palin speaking.

As I alluded to in one of my earlier posts, I will try taking pictures that fully represent this part of Africa. I will not necessarily be seeking out the poor or the beautified parts of this region; guess I will find out if this part of Africa is in the "mis-represented" category.

Omo, so the time has come for me to say goodbye to ATUPA. (I like to delude myself that you guys will miss me :) I know this is rather abrupt and that I barely took residence in blogsville for half-a-year but I find that ATUPA has got to make way for something else. I will still be around tho, and I will leave ATUPA opened (just in case I hav a sudden gust of nostalgia :) I may start off a new blog ... or may just be one of the famous anon commenters. I may also start a picture blog on the Ug village life as Omo Oba to wrap up ATUPA ...or maybe as someone else...or maybe not even a picture blog. Whatever the case is, I will still be around. No men, you thot I was done with the free therapy on blogsville? Omo, not even close.

I thank you for all your support, dialogue and comments on ATUPA.

I wish everyone a safe, happy and fruitful summer.
Peace y'all.

Summer book list + other rant

2009-06-11T17:29:00.027-04:00

Do you ever feel like you give someone bread and in return, they give you a snake? Well, thats where I am right now. It is said that you should love and treat others the way you want to be loved and treated but uhm that rule of reciprocity has passed me by. I have gotten to that point in my life where I want to become a mean arse...at the point where i need to stop investing in friendships, so that when u get a snake in return, u know hey! thats ok, didnt do much so dont expect much either. This isnt Christ-like at all, I know. But please, allow me not to think about that now. This is just mere ramble. I dont know where I am going with this. But honestly, I am at the point where I am burnt out with being a 'nice girl' or a 'good girl.' I want to be a bad girl. So I also prayed earlier this year for God to teach me how to talk without necessarily saying the truth or telling a lie because I cannot tell a lie to save my life. I am still praying...

Anywyas, so yea, I came here to put up my summer book list...that is, books I hope I will get to read this summer or within the next year.

1. Bad girls of the Bible by Liz Higgs

No pun intended here with Bad girls of the Bible on my book list. It was actually recommended by my mom. Author Higgs talks about Eve, Delilah, Michal, Potiphar's wife, not forgetting Rahab and the Woman at the well. What can we learn from the bad girls of the Bible? will see...

2. God of small things by Arundhati Roy

From Wiki: It is a story about the childhood experiences of a pair of fraternal twins. The book is a description of how the small things in life build up, translate into people's behavior and affect their lives. The book won the Booker Prize in 1997."

3. The Burma boy or/and The King's Rifles - both by Biyi Bamidele

Never read any of Biyi Bamidele books so will have to give one a try. Appraised in Essence magazine (edition?).

4. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

A prequel to the Da Vinci Code. To the naysayers and yeasayers both, Dan Brown is a great fictionist, blasphemer or not.

5. Purple Hisbiscus by Chiamimanda Adichie

Enough said right? A lot of you have read this. I haven't. Should get on it asap, I know.

6. Dreams from my father by Barack Obama

Another one I dont have to say anything about.

7. Unbowed: a memoir by Wangari Maathai

In 2004, Maathai was the first African woman to receive the Nobel peace prize for her work with the Green Belt movement in Kenya.

8. Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers

If you are a Francine Rivers fan like I am, I have heard that these series are a must read.

9. Dead Aid: Why Aid is not working and How there is a better way to help Africa by Dambisa Moyo.
Recommended to me by commenter, KG. And after she did, seems like everywhere I turned, people were talking about this book. Author Dambisa, by the way, is a very impressive Zambian economist.

10. The opposite house by Helen Oyeyemi

Nigerian-british author, Helen Oyeyem,i in this novel talks about Santeria, a religion that is a fusion of Catholicism and West African Yoruba beliefs.
Oyeyemi is also the author of Icarus girl.

Others include:
11. The Abyssinian boy by fellow blogger, Onyeka Nwelue
12. When she was white: A family divided by race. By Judith Stone
13. Beasts of no nation by Uzo Iweala
14. Love in the time of Cholera by Gabriel Marquez
15. Eat, pray and love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Please, also share ur book list and/or comments/appraisal/criticism of these books so that I can add or subtract from mine :)

Some Proverbs' verses that crack me up

2009-06-10T07:02:00.018-04:00

NIV:
Go to the ant, you sluggard; considers its ways and be wise
Prov 6:6

Do not eat the food of a stingy man,
do not crave his delicacies;
for he is the kind of man
who is always thinking about the cost.
"Eat and drink," he says to you,
But his heart is not with you.
You will vomit up the little you have eaten, and will have wasted your compliments.
Proverbs 23: 6-8

How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from sleep?
Prov 6:9

A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come on you like a bandit,
and scarcity like an armed man.
Proverbs 6:10-11 and 24: 33-34 (yop, same verse repeated 2ce!)

Do not love sleep or you will grow poor,
Stay awake and you will have food to spare.
Proverbs 20:13

The sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
He is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth
Proverbs 26:15

Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house,
too much of you and he will hate you.
Proverbs 25: 17

Do not say to your neighbor,
"Come back later, I'll give it tomorrow"
when you have it with you.
Proverbs 3:28

Better to live on the corner of the roof,
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife (or spouse).
Proverbs 25:24

It is not good to eat too much honey....
Proverbs 25: 27a

Give beer to those who are perishing,
wine to those who are in anguish,
let them drink and forget their poverty,
and remember their misery no more.
Proverbs 31:6-7

A gossip betrays a confidence,
so avoid a man who talks too much!
Proverbs 20: 19

Obviously, God is able to instruct His children with a sense of humor.
Enjoy.

baby girl

2009-06-04T14:46:00.024-04:00

baby girl, honey, sweetie, sugar, pie...

So I realize my name may be a chunkful for them ndi ozo* to pronounce but at least, I sometimes deign to shorten my name to an Americanized 2-syllabled form (which I will call bla/bla here). But even with my beautiful, given-name mercilessly butchered to bla/bla, some choose to ignore this shortened version and proceed to call me honey or sweetie pie! Like I told them my parents were hungry or did not have food to eat on the day of my naming-ceremony.

Before I came to this Amrika, I swore never ever to shorten or change my name for anyone. Well...all that tori changed fast when I started teaching 3-5yos sunday school at church, and I quickly became known as bla/bla. Bla/bla holds no meaning whatsoever for me (hence bla/bla) but I have learnt to just deal with it since I dont want to spend 5mins getting people to say it right during introductions. My poor mother cringes each time she hears it. The funny thing tho is that my sis also uses bla/bla each time she calls to order food from a restaurant, whether or not I am with her.

The 2-sided street of my life is that while my oyinbo* friends call me bla-bla, I insist on being called my real name by anyone who has an African tongue. Why?

Becuz I believe very very strongly in the power of names. In my opinion, names are bearers of destiny. I don't mean to offend anyone by this but just to give u an idea on how strongly i believe in meaningful names: I have little or zero patience for English names...except biblical names...and even at that, if I were Catholic, I would insist on christening my children with proper, indigenous names.

It is not like I don't use endearments myself but at least I also call people their names. I only wish people would not reduce me to my ovaries by calling me honey, sugar, or sweetie. I know there are also Nigerian guys out there who don't know u from -ish, but then call you baby girl!?!?!! That word (or is it phrase) just sends shivers down my spine.

I have an identity, and it starts with my name. Acknowledge ME. Acknowledge my individuality... by calling me MY NAME.

ndi ozo, oyinbo - anyone not African, Caucasians

Light-skinned and superior...???

2009-05-25T10:58:00.029-04:00

Dude: physical attractions for me are - light-skinned, long black hair (her own hair, as in no weaves, nothing artificial), flat tummy, big boobs, figure 8 and at least 5'6.

Me : haha, good for you. You realize I definitely dont fit into your book right? I wish u good luck in finding your Barbie.

Yea, that was one conversation I remember having with this dude back in my freshman year. But conversations like that have kept coming up. Only yesterday, another guy told me that he thinks light-skinned girls are cuter than dark-skinned girls. Excuse you?? say what? Did you take a look at me??? On a more serious note, I frankly asked if he realizes that his comment might be subtly racist. And he said wtf, racist ke? that light skin is only his sexual preference.

So what do you guys think? Sexual preference? or racist under-tones? Are sexual preferences of light-skinned babes (or maybe dark-skinned guys) a tacit expression that COLOR does matter?

In Nigeria, there is a yoruba song that goes:
omo pupa o,
omo pupa lemi fe,
omo pupa, jo mo fe ran e.

Translation:
A light skinned girl,
I want to marry a light skinned girl,
A light skinned girl is who i want to love.

In my opinion, I think all of the light-skinned preference issues by blacks is a very subtle way that black people dig holes for themselves. We prefer light-skinned people but when slave-owners used skin color to place mulattos (light-skinned blacks) as superior to dark-skinned blacks, we called it racism. My Ghanaian friend recently told me that for a long time in Ghana, light-skinned Ghanaians (a minority in Ghana) were treated superior to dark skinned Ghanaians. But that these days, things are changing in Ghana as more and more dark-skinned Ghanaians are becoming wealthy. I also recently (yea, all this while,I have been living in a cave) only found out about the age-old tensions between Haiti and the Dominican republic. These are 2 countries that are right next to each other, yet the lighter-skinned Dominicans believe that the darker-skinned Haitians are inferior to them. They should be brothers, yet they hate each other. Thot-provoking huh?

There is a story of a 5-year-old Caucasian girl who never having been exposed to black people in her short life, one day, sees a black person. The girl is shocked that such a filthy person should be out in public. Then, she turns to her mother and says, "Mom, why hasn't that man scrubbed his body?" Also, from my personal collection: another sweet, beautiful 4 -year old girl once asked me, while I was teaching Sunday school, why my skin is different from hers.

So yes, the superiority complex of light-skinned/white people is inherent in humans. I mean, I cannot berate this 4 or 5-year-olds for thinkin the way they do...we can only educate them that there are different colors of people in the world. But God has called us to love one another and treat each other equally.

Alek Wek, Sudanese world-famous model.

I would also not let myself off the hook here. Have you ever set your eyes on dark-skinned Sudanese people? They are not just brown. They are black! And even me myself, the first time I got to talking with one, I said to myself, "Damn! thank you Lord that I am not this black" Yes, this was my very ignorant self.....But, really, thank God that there are people like Alek Wek who are bringing new definitions to beauty....

...Because the truth is we all grew up playing with light-skinned, straight and long hair barbie dolls (those days before "Marvelous Malia" and "Sweet Sasha" Obama dolls went on the market). The world has had it ingrained in us that light-skin is preferable, that light skin is superior. Now that we are grown, what are we doing about this? Are we perpetuating the myth that light skin is superior by buying creams that promise to give us lighter tones? or by screaming while we are out in the sun, I dont want to be black! Dang! woman, u are black! Love it or die!

I used to heartily sing to the song, Omo pupa, before last week, when I suddenly started thinking about the deeper ramifications of the song...it may have very well been the movie, Omo pupa, that I saw on youtube last fri that got me thinking about this issue.

So for you men who love light-skinned women (and for you ladies who love dark-skinned men), my question to you is do you think your sexual preference perpertuates white supremacy ideals? Any takes on this issue? I would love, love to read your opinions (hopefully this long post has not scared you too much).

PS - Still on this issue, check out this book, When She Was White: The True Story of a Family Divided By Race. (will be part of my summer reads)
PPS - Also, on a similar issue, check out fellow blogger, Black Girl with Long Hair's post on Natural Hair Not Hot in Nigeria, and the comments it garnered (some very interesting and thot-provoking discussion here).

Peace y'all.

Omoge get pain

2009-05-05T17:09:00.016-04:00

"It is a wig!"
That's what i have been wanting to scream since yesterday morning. Yesterday, May 4, was a land-mark birthday for me (u know, one of those birthdays where u can now drink margaritas legally without someone else using their id to order it for u). Anyways, so yes, seeing that babes is now old, I decided that it might be the right time to get a cute short hair cut (which I am still dying to get done). So a friend suggested that first, I try a weave or a wig to see how short hair looks on me....and uhm, since time and the state of my bank acct make no room to get a weave done, I decided to get a wig. Yes, a wig o! Not once did I imagine my life will come to wigs but eh, na so we see am.

"Oh my gosh, I love your hair cut" is what I have been hearing at school since yesterday morning, and in my head, I am going if only u knew... that the brand name of my "hair" is "it is a wig!" Each time someone opens their mouth to tell me how much they love my "hair, " I writhe. Even my teachers are saying "nice haircut." And I just shrink back in my seat, and whisper a weak "thank you." I dont know, I feel as if I am lying, and pretending to be someone I am not. I also have this dread that my wig will fall off in class one day...and omo, that will not be cute!

Because my roomates have also seen me in the wig, I dare not leave my room any longer without my wig on. In fact, yesterday, I was hanging out on the dining table with no wig when I heard someone turn the key at the door.... omo men, u should have seen the way I left what I was doing and flew to my room to get my wig! ehn, b4 they think some african juju is happening b4 their eyes. And then, to top it off, since in one of our classes, we take turns doing physical exams on each other, someone is going to want to palpate my scalp and realize that oops, I have no scalp under my hair. Men, whoever coined the phrase omoge* get pain forgot to emphasize that black omoges na im get pain.

To more serious matterz - I am thanking my Father above for another chapter in my life. I think I can look back at my life and say: mistakes made, doors closed, accolades achieved, windows opened, memories cherished, and lots of room for improvement. This weekend, a friend made me read thru my now defunct yahoo inbox account (remember, the days of yahoo mail?). Looking thru my yahoo archive, I reminisced on how optimistic and fiery I once used to be, and how far I have come from those days. I think as I have grown, I have sacrificied some of that fire, that zest for life, that passion I once had - all for maturity, and the cynicism that sometimes comes with it.

If I can speak for myself, life's experiences have left some of us jaded, some of us skeptical of life, of people and especially, some of us doubtful of the tremendous potential inherent in us. My prayer for us all is that the Lord rekindles our fire, that burning desire, and those childhood dreams we all had. That we realize that it is okay to still believe that we can change the world.

*omoge - a young woman

follow follow

2009-04-30T22:03:00.013-04:00

BSNC tagged me way back but I uhmm... was kinda avoiding this... Anyways sha, tonight, I feel a mysterious pull to do this, aka follow follow. w/o further ado:

1. I hate talking about myself (did I say that b4?) Yea, I really do. Actually, I have issues talking about myself to other people. You know how people when they have plans about somethin or the other, tell you exactly what they are doing and where they are going, I find it hard to tell people (besides la famille) what my schedule for the day will be...yea, I am weird like that. And you know how in this american society, everything is about selling yourself...well, it is really hard for me to do that, walahi.

2. I am addicted. oh so addicted. to chewing gum. I finish a pack of trident in a day (18 gum sticks).

3. Two things I cannot stand in people:
i) people who brag for no apparent reason. Please, allow me find out about you. Dont put your stuff all in my face, thank you very much.
ii) materialistic people. The most materialistic everyday person I have ever met sits in front of me in class, and the good Lord knows, I hate to hate people but this chic makes me want to pull out my hair.

4. I want the most un-conventional wedding ceremony. I dont know, I just want something very different from the run-of-the-mill-white-wedding-gown-close-lagos-down ceremony. Even as I dey sit down talk so, I know, with the kind of family I have, I will end up just having a regular ceremony but uhm, it is okay to dream se?...thank God, I have a sister before me that they can do all the fanfare and blow all the trumpet for because me, I honestly don't see the point in the big wedding craze and I might just happen to elope and have a court wedding...

5. When I was in my teenage years, I used to think my mother hated me. Now, I love love talking to the old woman, and miss her berry mush.

6. I am attracted to humble guys who think before they talk. And guys who when they open their mouths, talk sense.

7. I am very afraid of committing myself to any relationship. I have not had any particularly traumatic experiences that should elicit this but it is just something that I guess I am dealing with because I would not lie, i love my independence, and I cannot imagine someone being in my space 24/7/365 - and me smelling their mouth and shyte every friggin' day of the rest of my life. Men, props to my parents, and all u married folks out there - you are my role models.

8. These days, I have major issues with speaking in front of people. The irony of it all is that my parents find it very hard to believe because I was an entirely different person when I was in Nigeria...i miss the old me :(

9. I am told that I have emotional tendencies but I could not cry when I watched the movie, Hotel Rwanda, even though everyone around me was balling.

10. I am not particularly fond of eating out (except for special occasions of cuz.) I love home-cooked meals, and try to eat healthy usually but that doesnt always work out. I constipate a heck of a lot and so, generally avoid eating pastries but nada, and I mean absolutely nada can keep me away from biggs! (oooh biggs, the thot of u just makes me salivate). I am a beans freak, I eat a lot of beans...and I think beans and yam (alasepo) is the sturvs!

whew! I actually did it.
And now, I am supposed to tag people...it is hard to find someone who hasnt done this yet but I tag Obla yoo.

Mickey meets Africa in Orlando

2009-04-21T18:32:00.043-04:00

I have been meaning to write about this for a hot minute now but school, and everything else in between, prevented me from doing such. Now that I am done with a major exam, I have my life back before the heat comes back on at school. For the next 2 days, my brain will be on vacation from school (or maybe more than 2 days because i have a way of unconsciously extending my vacations :) ...wait, I actually take vacations in my mind in almost every one of my lectures...story of my life.

Speaking of vacations, I was in Orlando, Florida for spring break in March. No, it wasn't in my mind. This one was real. As in, touchdown in Orlando! And it was sheer bliss!!! Pure, untainted, 100% sheer bliss. No school work, no lectures, no errands to run, no emails. It was just Florida, my friends and myself...lounging in the sun and enjoying the palm trees, and keeping an eye out for segzy black male folk... i lie, i lie :)

Orlando.

Yes, we visited Disney World. And that, people, was awesomeness. It was my first time at any disney so I was in awe. I had maddd fun to say the least. The shows, the rides, the carnivals, safari, the breath-taking scenery, and the fireworks at night!!!! The festival of the lion king and the Mountain of forbidden treasures (the scariest roller coaster ever) are a must see and do - they were the the best!

So one of the parks we visited at disneyworld was Animal kingdom, which also had different areas within it: Africa, Asia, camp minney mickey, discovery land etc. We couldnt visit everywhere because there was so much to do, and so we had to select things we wanted to do. And of cuz you can guess what topped the list.

Africa.
The kilimanjaro safari was exciting!!! (I apologize beforehand on behalf of my touch-and-die camera, these are pics from a friend).

Besides the safari, the designers of the park made no apologies on Africa (and Asia)....in plain words, Disneyworld presents a dilapidated, run-down, crumbling version of Africa (and Asia).

Run-down restaurant and bar with an open-air market place around it

Rivuko computer training center

Check out the features of Ekis hotel.

(actually, one of my friends caught this - "rooms with windows available, bathroom with running water on both floors, mattress and toilet, paper just a little extra")

They didnt forget the haphazard electric lines...

...or the litany of posters that line up streets

And so to the chagrin of other Disney customers, my friends and I had a very heated discussion on how this is a total mis-representation of Africa that is only out to cash Disney money while mis-informing people.

So is this your Africa?

My opinion: Yes, it is my Africa.
This is the Africa I know. Or let me speak for West Africa, this is the West Africa I know (minus the safaris), and the West Africa I know sometimes even looks worse. At least, they had paved roads in Disney, the Africa I know has pot-holed, paper-littered roads. A m I insulted at some of the insinuations? Yes, you bet. But do I find it a completely false representation? No I do not. The "rooms with windows available, bathroom with running water, paper just a little extra" stings helluva lot but this is the West Africa I know, let me not lie. If I go to any public school in Lagos, I dont expect to find tissue paper! and God bless me if there is running water.

And i realize that there are many many many thousands of beautiful places in Africa, but if they were to portray this places as Africa, then, that itself will be a gross misrepresentation of Africa, or at least the West Africa I know. More than 70% of Nigerians will tell you that this Africa that Mickey has portrayed is their story. More than half of Africa doesnt have daily access to clean running water. This is our lives. This is our story. And we cannot continue to be mad at the truth. We cannot afford to be overly sentimental about such issues when work needs to be done! We are angry and bitter about people portraying Africa as a black hole when we should be focusing our energies on continent and nation building. If this are the insults that I will bear as a Nigerian whilst things are changing (great job going, Governor Fashola of Lagos state, Nigeria), I will bear them proudly because my Africa, the WestAfrica I know is not going to be like this for ever.

Now when things change, and Africa still remains mis-represented at Disney land, then that will be a major problem, kwanta. In fact, I will personally enter one sokoto (trouser pants) with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. But till then, I remain amused and unfazed by their money-making conduit. I will hold my head high and keep working towards a better Africa until we can ultimately shame the nincompoops who trash Africa's image.

Is this your Africa?
Please I beg, bring on your thots and opinions on this matter.

Renewal

2009-04-18T06:24:00.027-04:00

Hey guys, just checking in for a quick one. I was stuck all day yesterday in the lib. studying, but man, I was so relishing the weather from indoors. Ah, the weather in the East Coast finally finally made the 60's mark yesterday, and last night was 45F! That is, there can be no chance of any nonsense snow again for a long while!! Omo, you dont know how absolutely thankful I am!!! I know you are saying kini big deal? but men, this was my first winter in the East coast after moving up from Texas in August. I survived guys! I survived my first real winter, albeit with one-near car accident and one actual accident! still, I survived!! I survived! thanks be to God yo!!!

I have always loved spring but the changes that come with spring in the East coast are so drastic that it is making me fall in love with spring all over again. The lakes, rivers and ponds are finally unfrozen, and people are kayaking again! The trees are getting redeemed from their nakedness and are being clothed again! A squirrel even greeted me yesterday as I came out of the front door and I have never been as happy to see a squirrel as I was yesterday.

So yes people. The winter will surely pass! And spring will come. It has come!!! and for me, it is a time for renewal...to throw out the garbage of the winter, and to seek forgiveness and new heights this season. man, the possibilities of today!!! It is no coincidence that Easter falls in spring; it makes me realize even more that I have a new slate to start over.

teheee, i said a quick one huh? Anyways, I am putting away the coats and boots. Where my shorts and flip flops at??? I can finally go runnin outdoors again instead of being stuck on a threadmill! ....uhmm, actually, I am going to be stuck indoors all weekend studying (arg!) but man, I so cannot wait to enjoy the fullness of spring!

Thank you Jesus for spring, and for renewal, and for forgiveness!

Peace y'all

On E

2009-04-15T02:12:00.005-04:00

For my wise, silver-haired teacher

It seems just like yesterday,
when we first met
You looked so peaceful,
as you lay with your closed eyes,
your crown of silver hair,
and your perfectly chiseled jaw,
You looked so unruffled, so far away from this restless world,
and I could not understand why you were so tranquil…

…because I was a whirlwind of emotion
I wanted to cry but I couldn’t,
I wanted to talk about you,
To say something profound about meeting you, but I couldn’t
I was angry at myself,
For not feeling anything more than fear and resignation,
And it was your calmness,
It was the power in your silence,
the comfort in your silence,
that gradually eased my fear and unsteadiness,
and guided me along…

…layer after layer,
Bone after bone,
Vessel after vessel,
Space after space,
You revealed yourself to me,
Your exquisite arrangement,
The perfect detailing of your body
renewed my sense of faith…

…day after day,
And despite the frustration I sometimes felt,
Your wisdom was steadfast,
You took me from the gallows of ignorance,
And have empowered me with so much knowledge.
But even more than that,
like any great teacher,
You have left me with more than anatomy,
You have left me curious,
You have left me with more than I bargained for,
with so many unanswered questions...

What is that ONE THING?

2009-04-05T20:05:00.018-04:00

Happy Palm Sunday, fellow bloggers!!!

So last sunday, I watched this video at church, and it was as if God sent the guy in the video to talk to me. I have dug the video up especially for fellow blogger, According To Busola, based on her post, On Consistency. It is a 10 min video, check it out.

video summary :

Do you find yourself soooo busy, doing so many things at once? Being busy is a drug many people are addicted to. Even Jesus, while on earth, did not do everything! He knew exactly what His purpose was on earth, and did exactly that. And He was able to say no to the expectations people had of Him because He had already said yes.

So do you have a hard time saying no because people all around you seem to be doing everything, and you feel like you should too? What is that ONE THING your life should be about? If your hands are filled with shells, you will never grab your STARFISH, the ONE THING God has ordained your life for.

Video by Nooma Films

Affirmatively speakin...

2009-04-02T15:53:00.028-04:00

I get it - affirmative action (AA) is necessary.

It is necessary for those who grew up on the other side of the tracks. For those who are dont have the opportunity to ride in limos or on escalators as they journey to their destinations. And not forgetting the single most affirmative truth: to atone for sins and atrocities unmentionable.

So....this weekend is second-look weekend at my school. It is the weekend where accepted students are invited to re-visit the school as they try to decide where they want to go for medical school. Apparently, according to my dean, it is a crucial weekend for the school in an effort to recruit the best class yet.

And of course, as per AA, we are having a special "enrichment session" for minority or xcuse me, to be politically correct, "under-represented" students. The underrepresented students will arrive early in the morning while other students will arrive later: 4 hours later.

There is something about this affirmative action that just ain't sitting right with me. I may be called a coward because I fear that events like this "enrichment session" may serve to buttress the point of view of some of my classmates who look at me and go, "she is only in medical school because of AA." I could also very well be called a hypocrite because I have so graciously benefited from many summer enrichment programs et al. In fact, I also attended an enrichment session during orientation week..yes yes I did, but I must add I grudginly did so.

Hypocrite/coward or not, allow me state my case here: Summer enrichment programs where minority (yes, minority) students are empowered to become better applicants is one thing. Inviting minority students to see and lick the creme of the cake before anyone else does is another thing. In this case, they have all been given the cake (that is, all have been accepted) so what is the deal of one set of students arriving 4-hours before the other. Is it just me or am I a coward or hypocrite?

Please, dont get me wrong. I understand there is an urgency to increase the # of minority doctors. For a long time, the picture of an American doctor was a white male...and it still very well is today, lets not kid ourselves. But yes, people, I also passionately dream of an America where doctors are non-male and non-white! Less than 3.3% of physicians in America are black, hispanic/latino doctors make up about 2.8%. An article (2006) from the AAMC says that while African Americans and hispanics are the largest growing segments of the population, they are severely misrepresented in medicine.

But everyone knows that Affirmative Action is working more to the advantage of Africans living in the US than it is for the African Americans or Native Americans which it was initially set up for. I havent verified this yet but I hear that Howard medical school is more than 60% Nigerian (not even Africans). I am not complaining o! Shuuuuu!!! I would continue to milk AA as long as it lives. But, I cannot stop but ponder on MLKJ's famous line in his I have a dream speech...."I dream of a nation where my children will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

My point is that while there is an urgent need to increase the # of minority physicians, the way in which we go about it might be "segregating" (for lack of a better word) others.

Affirmatively speaking, I would really like to read everyone's opinion on this delicate issue.

NB - happy new month to you all.

Re: last post & Nollywood Throwback

2009-03-27T20:38:00.043-04:00

Warning: this is an unusually long post

Thanks to all of you guys who contacted me about my last entry. I know I was shallow with that post, and I didnt get to the koko of the matter. But I felt the need to just pour out my feelings to a ~~listening~~ reading audience without anyone talking back at me, hence, the reason for disabling the comments. I dont know if you understand my drift. Wareva sha. Anywho, I am doing better now, but my life isnt back to normal again, and it wouldnt be for a while. My soul is deeply troubled, please pray for my family and myself ...

But omo men , such is life, we get over it, pick up our lives and move on. Kanchiko (not so)?

I have been here all week, reading and commenting on y'alls entries in an attempt to buoy myself. Some of you almost made my ribs crack with laughing too hard: hint hint BSNC (on Grandma goes to yankee), YNC (on African remix of Put a ring on it), ShonaVixen (on Getting Nigerianized), Vera (on In preparation for marriage), and Bumight (on Stranger's balls, Church and Vagina) .

I didnt expect to find myself putting up a post tonight. I had a couple of topics to write about before the subject of my previous post turned my world upside down. What do you know? See me here o, addicted, so addicted to blogville.

Ok so on a lighter note....................
Last weekend, I saw a movie - Mortal Inheritance. Yop, you guessed it. It is a Nollywood original. But before I turn all them Nollywood-haters away, let me tell you - for me to endorse a nollywood movie on my blog and devote an entire post to it means that it is better than the average nollywood movie.

So bear with me.

Mortal inheritance...the name actually sounds like some razz nollywood movie like that like Deadly innocence, or The empress or "Can this be love?" (those who watch Nights of a 1000 laughs would get the joke)... but this movie is far from that. So far from any form of razzness.

Mortal Inheritance (produced way back in 1996) is actually one of Omotola Jalade Ekeinde's debut into Nollywood. The movie also parades veteran Nollywood stars that include Fred Amata, Kunle Bamtefa (remember him from Checkmate, the Nigerian TV series, his famous "mabegi fun e"), Madam Kofo, Obiageli Molebe (I also remember her as the wicked mother in Checkmate).

Anyways, the movie is a true life story. It is the story of a 24-year-old Yoruba girl (Kemi), living with sickle cell, who falls in love with an Igbo boy (Chike). What I love about the movie, besides the effortless acting in the movie, is that it highlights some themes worthy of discussion ...particularly 1) on the ordeal of living as an SS genotype in Nigeria and 2) on tribalism.

1. Many of us have, in one way or another, been affected by sickle cell so most of you are familiar with the disease. Actually, the movie is called mortal inheritance because SS is a "deadly" genotype Kemi is afraid of passing on to her children. There is a 50% chance that if an SS, like Kemi, gets married to an AS genotype, they would have a child with sickle cell (SS). Kemi's genotype is a major burden on her relationship with Chike, and she almost gives up on him because she does not want to go through the ordeal of bringing up a child (or children) with SS .

Similarly, there is also a 25% chance that people with AS genotypes would have an SS child if they get married to someone with an AS genotype. In Nigeria, persons with AS genotype are often advised not to get married to an AS-genotype partner. The reason being that 1 out of 4 children may inherit the disease.

A while ago, a couple of friends and I got into a heated argument on how no one should be counseled on who or who not to marry based on genetics. In my opinion, marriage counseling on genetics in Nigeria is not out of place. In Nigeria, 8% of every infant born with Sickle cell will die before the age of 5. Kemi (in the movie) is only able to live to the age of 24 because she is from a rich home. Her parents were capable of providing her with the best possible care. However, remove her from such a nurturing home, and place her in the average Nigerian household, and she very possibly would not have lived past the age of 24 or at least not with such a high quality of life.

Not every one in Nigeria is fortunate to come from a rich home, so taking the risk to bring a child to this world so they can suffer and possibly die is, in my books, inexcusable! I have no qualms with people getting married even when they are AS genotypes, so long as they know that they have the resources to nurture the child to good health each time the child has a crisis. But not when you get married just because you want to fulfill your own selfish desires. Better yet, if you want to get married, then please adopt kids (there are millions out there)! Just dont go adopting one from heaven, and bringing them to this world so they can die an early painful death.

2. Okay so moving on to the other theme that colors this movie - tribalism. yes yes, that dreaded word. I would hate to spoil the movie for all of you out there that plan on watching it so I would not reveal too many details.

Of course, the story line is the classic case of a Yoruba wanting to get married to an Igbo, but the families on both side would not hear of it. Fortunately, there is at least one reasonable parent on each side so it is not too bad.

One thing, though, that struck a cord in me, was the way Chike's name was pronounced as Sike by his soon-to-be yoruba inlaws (and omo, this was not the case of the yoruba H-factor syndrome). In fact, they made no effort or apologies for mis-prononucing his name even when corrected..in their books, he was the Okoro fortune-hunter, or omo ibo. Classic tribalistic statements huh? Anyways, the Sike they kept saying reminded me of how many of my friends who are yorubas mis-pronounce igbo names, or vice-versa. And sometimes, it is even very shocking how they have no clue on how to pronounce a common yoruba or igbo name.

A couple of months ago, one of my good friends and I visited an RCCG parish (Redeemed Christian Church of God). On our way home, she confided in me that she frankly did not feel as comfortable in the church because it was a yoruba-dominated church. I initially found her comment a little offensive, so I kept quiet given that it was such a sensitive issue. But the more I pondered about it, the more I saw reason with her. I realized that if I had an Igbo name, I will be more welcomed into an Igbo gathering, as compared to if I used my yoruba name. The same also applies vice versa. Another friend of mine, who is actually from Zimbabwe also confessed that she uses Nigerian names whenever she goes to Nigerian weddings (and she has been to darn too many for her own good!) because she feels people embrace her more if they recognize a Nigerian name.

Shame innit?
Yes, big shame.

That the mere mention of your name can place a judgement call on you even before you utter a word from your mouth, or as in the case of the movie, even before people actually meet you.

Whether illiterate or literate, tribalism is in the genetic makeup of many Nigerians (or dare I say many Africans?). Ok, I would not want to keep ranting about any more of the tribalistic palava or how I believe HISTORY OF NIGERIA 101 should be a necessary requirement at junior and secondary school levels in an effort to bring us out of the tribalistic stupor we find ourselves in.

Moving on, there are other subtle themes in the movie - like why some fathers feel the need to blame mothers if a child acts up. Anyways, that one is tori for another time.

Before I over-analyze the movie and kill it for you, whenever you find time, try to catch the movie on youtube (put up by Ijinleman). Though produced almost 13 years ago, mortal inheritance is a very real, refreshing movie. For those OmoT fans out there, the babe was also looking off-da-chain, as in, if you think she is gorgeous now, then watch her in this movie (think she was about 20yearsold here), and see the real beauty she is!

Besides expending your brain power, Mortal inheritance also has many comical elements (I refuse to spoil the movie for you)...but, before I take my leave for the night, it really has been quite a while since any Nollywood movie actually made me think deeply like this - hence, the need to blog about this..., and even more so, it has been light-years since I shed tears for any movie (talkless of a Nigerian movie), ...Mortal inheritance did just that. I very highly recommend it.

brokeness

2009-03-25T08:07:00.022-04:00

I have been a big fool,
steeped in naivitee
my life has been a lie
lies, lies, lies....
there is so much spinning thru my head right now
I feel like I am about to wake up from a really bad nightmare...

how can love lie and deceive u constantly for 18 good months?
nonstop deceit...nonstop lies
and all this while I believed to see better,
my oh-so-gullible self,
not wanting to be too inquisitive,
never wanting to ask too many questions,
now i wonder who I can say I really know.

... its all boiled over.
and this nightmare is now my reality.
Can such a love be severed?
Can such a love ever be burned out?
A cord of love made in heaven.
Where will trust, love's esteemed progeny, be?

I am feeble and sore broken;
I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.
Psalm 38: 8, KJV

NB - reader comments disabled

Ebano, blogville

2009-03-14T16:33:00.006-04:00

These days, everyone is saying thank you to their blogosphere people ... but let me tell you oh, they do so with strings attached...yes, yes, we all know the Naija blogger awards (NBA) are in sight...haha (evil laff)

But this thank you that me I am saying ehn is from my heart, as in it is deeeep :) No strings attached here as you know I am not even a nominee at the NBAs. This thank you is especially for my blogsville peeps...and I am thanking you (yes, you!) who is reading this now.

When I started blogging about a month ago, I had no idea how much fun blogging will be. Dang! there are so many blogs out there that have inspired me, that I have learnt from, that have made me laugh till I cramped or made me smile in recognition of an issue, or have made me re-think issues. Yes ke, who said Africa is not going to take the world by storm? You guys are fabulous in your own different ways - intellectually, fashionably, poetically, personally, humorously, commentedly (for the commenters, u know urselves), etc etc. Who said this African generation is not the -ish? Oh yes, we are! And oh yes, we can!

Ok so please dont forget to vote for your fav blogs at the NBAs! Click here to vote.

Jealous much? by Marybeth Whalen

2009-03-13T12:56:00.011-04:00

I used to read Prov 31 ministries devotional last year until I switched over to Our Daily Manna (ODM) this year. ODM is quite good but I got a little frustrated with it sometime this week when Dr. Chris was like the fact that 90% of transactions in the US and Western Europe are cashless is all in preparation for the coming of the anti-Christ!?! I hate to disagree with a man of God but uhhmm...really? Would talk more about this later when I have more concrete arguments.

Anyways, today, I was craving some Prov 31 and guess what? I think MaryBeth Whalen had me in mind when she wrote this. I am going to be a shameless copy cata (copy cat) and copy and paste her devotional. Here goes:

Jealous Much? by Marybeth Whalen

"So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you. Do not turn aside to the right or the left. Walk in all the way that the Lord has commanded you, so that you may live and prolong your days in the Land that you will possess" Deuteronomy 5:32-33 (NIV).

"Do you ever get jealous?" my friend asked me. I could tell she was hesitant to ask me this. What if I said I don’t struggle with jealousy, and she was left alone with her feelings spread out in front of us, vulnerable and exposed.

In that moment, I had a choice to make - be honest and vulnerable with her or gloss over the truth with some spiritual platitude. To say out loud what I wish weren't true, or purport those feelings I wish were true. In a split second, I made the decision.

"Of course!" I responded. "I struggle with jealousy more than I wish I did." I watched her breathe a sigh of relief that she was not alone. And then we spent some time talking about the things we find ourselves being jealous of, how petty we feel about it, and how we keep our focus in the right place, redirecting our thoughts to where they need to be instead of running off on a jealous tangent.

I wish I wasn't prone to those jealous feelings. Jealous that this person got a book contract by a company that turned me down. Jealous that this person got booked to speak at an event I really wanted to do. Jealous that this person gets waaay more blog comments and waaaay more hits than I ever dreamt of. Jealous at this person's true gift for writing, and that person's unique blend of humor and profundity. Jealous of houses, clothes, weight. It's so base, so silly, so human.

God has taught me much about jealousy - how to turn from it, how to guard myself against it. But unfortunately, knowing what to do and actually forcing my mind and my will to do it are sometimes two different things. Through the years, God has shown me "the rest of the story" when people I was jealous of in the past had terrible things happen to them. And I heard His whisper: "Still want her life?" Oh, how ashamed I was for wanting what was never mine to have, because I couldn't handle the burdens that accompanied that life. He knew it, why couldn't I accept it? Yes, the big green-eyed monster does rise up within me unbidden, too often for my taste. I want to slay him forever but he seems to have multiple lives, returning again and again to take up residence in a heart that isn't supposed to be his home.

Do I ever get jealous? Absolutely. Do I want to be jealous? Not at all. Each day I focus on who God created me to be (complete with gifts as well as limits) and the situation He has placed me in. I re-situate my mental blinders so that I am not tempted to look to my right or my left. I keep my focus on Him, and Him alone. When I do that, jealousy has no place in my life. The trick is to keep doing that every day, learning to be content where He has me and resting fully in that.

Dear Lord, please help me not to be jealous of others. I know I can do this when I stay focused on You and trust Your will for my life. Please help me to keep blinders on, not looking to the right or to the left at the people around me, but constantly training my eyes to look to You and Your Word. Thank You Lord for Your perfect plan for me and I am excited to see what You will bring about in the fullness of time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Wrecked

2009-03-11T22:16:00.037-04:00

That's my car after the snowstorm of Mar 2nd that avalanched the East coast with ~1foot of snow. Yop, wrecked! A friend and I were driving down a slight incline on our way to school that fateful morning when the car skidded and I ran into a wall on the side of the road. Classes had been delayed till 11am that morning and classes end at noon typically...so ask me who told me to carry my behind to class for a one-hour lecture day?...a lecture that I could also have listened to online! Yeparipa (no tsl), may oversabi (over-doing) not kill me! And imagine o, all of this was after I had announced on facebook that classes had been delayed! Darn brakes I pressed on too! arrrg! I am soooo mad at myself! But we thank God sha that we no one got hurt! Learn from my mistake y'all. Omo men, I miss me some tezzan (texas) weather!

Flashback (no, this is not nollywood)...
So this is the 2nd time that I have skidded in bad weather in less than 4 mths. The first time is a testament that miracles still happen in this life. My sister and I were on the highway, on our way back from NYC after a snowstorm (yes, we are dare-devils, another case of oversabi or maybe a case of stupidity?). Sha, I was driving (me again!) when I saw that the road ahead of me was icy and cars about 10 feet in front of me were slowing down. Sharply sharply, I stepped on the brakes, and that was it...

For like three seconds, my car was spinnin on the highway. U know how they say follow the direction of the skid? That was what i did o. At this point, for those microseconds that the car was turning on the highway, I thot my life was over...(uhm cliff hanger?)

...until we found ourselves on the shoulder of the road. And then 5 seconds after we were at the shoulder, cars came flying by on the highway including one gigantic trailer like this! I kept saying my sister's name over and over and over. We were still in shock until we realized that our car was now stuck in 2-foot of snow at the roadside.

About 20 mins after being stuck in the snow, God sent a good samaritan (yes, they still exist in this life) to us and he used a rope to drag my car out of the snow by connecting my car to his truck. To cut the story short, my car was unscratched, and my sis and I got out unscathed. Omo, it was to the glory of God, and God alone!!! I woke up the next morning asking myself what I was doing sleeping on the couch and not hooked up to tubes in a hospital bed?

Okie, this story is getting long but uhm, there are just some testimonies that need to be recanted over and over again to the shame of the devil! yes ke!

So back to this accident...
I took the car to the body shop that my insurance (aka the geckos) prescribed this past saturday, and left it with them for repairs. The insurance gave me this sleek rental car (a cute new Nissan Versa) and men, I was feeling the car o, I no go lie. I thot pata pata (all in all), they will give me an estimate of the damage, fix it, get my car back, I will sadly relinquish the Versa...and all will be groovy again. I mean the damages dont look that bad, right? Wrong!!!

They call me back and say that when the car was repaired (prior to when I bought it), they had not fixed some things behind the bumper properly, so they will have to re-fix that part before replacing the bumper. They said an estimate for the total cost will be ~ $4000. I said say whaaaaarrtt!?!

Of course since these were "existing damages," the gecko (that is, geico insurance) said they would only be paying for the new damages which is only like 1/5th of the $4k. I am convinced that it really is soo not worth fixing because were I to trade the car in to a toyota dealership today, I would get approximately that amount even with the bashed bumper so why waste my money on fixing it? So I said I want my car back o, that I am not feeling this Versa nonsense again.

And that was how they said that my car is unsafe for the road and that it would be a liability on the geckos for me to be driving on the road. Mind you, this is a car that I have been driving for close to three years now with hardly any problems at all. Come and see me see trouble o!!!

That got me thinking deep: Some people hate going to doctors for this exact reason. You go into a doctor's office for a particular issue and then they tell you that in addition, you also have such and such. In fact, a friend shared with me a touching story of a particular uncle that lost a tooth but the bleeding would not stop. He went in to see a doctor and was then diagnosed with leukamia. From then on, his health spiraled down until he lost his life to leukamia. Would he still be alive had he not been started on chemo for leukamia? That is not for me to ask. To the glory of God, years later, his family is doing well. But talk about pain!

Ok so of course my situation is not as heart-wrenching as that but still....$4000?! When I am not smoking pipe! aba, ogini???

I really do not freaking have $4000 to blow on a car that wouldnt be valued at a sale for much more. Right now, I am fixing on getting a 2nd opinion at a different body shop.

But besides learning never to press sharply on my brakes when driving in bad weather, I have also learnt here that damages (also insert pain, grief, beauty, etc etc) can run deeper than that surface look...I mean I had always known that but this is so reality check.

At this point, as you can imagine, I am so traumatized of driving in bad weather. But you know, God still protects His children. Yikes! this post is getting too long. Stay safe all. And if you will, learn from my driving mishaps:) Click here on how to control a skid from the DMV (Dept of Motor Vehicle, US) website.

~ Yay for spring----ish ~

The Madueke vs. Rotimi Feud

2009-03-06T23:22:00.028-05:00

I would usually defer issues like this to bloggers like Nigerian curiosity and pyoo wata who have a better grip of the intricacies of the Nigerian political scene than I do. But this is one issue that has been on my mind for some time now.

Word has it that this fight started when Rotimi (Nigeria's ambassador to the US) insisted that he, and not Madueke (Minister of Foreign Affairs), would attend Obama's inauguration ceremony since the US had sent out formal invites only to ambassadors and their wives...but Madueke say him no go gree, abi se e no be foreign affairs minister, oga (boss) to Rotimi? To my understanding, that was the beginning of the feud that culminated in Rotimi issuing a statement, "I have dealt with people like you in the past. I was the Adjutant General of the Nigerian Army that thoroughly defeated your rag-tag Biafran army".

Was Madueke trying to bend the rules to suit himself? Undoubtedly so. Was Rotimi's response appropriate? Hell no!!! And he rightfully got the boot - General Oluwole Rotimi has been ordered to return back home to Nigeria.

I am not writing this to give more fuel to the tribalistic fights that have already broken out on the internet (hint hint Nigerianvillagesquare). However, whether or not Rotimi's statement was taken out of context (as he claims it was), he had no right, and absolutely no reason to bring up Biafra. In my opinion, his sackment letter is well justified. And I hope this will be a lesson for Nigerian leaders to be more sensitive to tribal issues. The incidence between this two apparently very literate Nigerians only highlights the fact that the evils of tribalism are still very much at large in our nation - which is why I believe a more-than-cursory understanding of our history is needed to be taught in primary and secondary schools, in religious institutions and at homes.

Shikena (finish). That is all I have to say on this matter.
PS - no tribalistic statments allowed on this post. Be civil.

F1-stamp matterz

2009-03-01T18:36:00.024-05:00

Everything is being blamed on the economy these days. But my own don pass economy palava. That is to say, there is no stimulus package that can help my situation becuz they say I am F1-stamped...you know, that label that basically forbids you from applying to everything good under the American sun - scholarships, grants, internships, jobs, summer programs and beebee lo (and so on). Truth be told, it is tres disturbing to think that I am getting the same education as my classmates at twice the tuition fee. If things continue as they are, I fear to tell you how much debt I will have after med.sch. In fact, I am officially looking for an American husband to have a "business transaction" with.

Why, o why, am I not in school in 9ja??? The grass is definitely not greener on this side. But I refuse to be F1-stamped! Omo men, I dont know how the Lord is going to do it, but I so believe He is going to turn my situation around. Isnt He my Father? Omo Oba ni mi ( a daughter of the King).

Though the fig tree does not bud,

and there are no grapes on the vines.
Though the olive crop fails
And the fields produce no food
Though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my savior.
Habakkuk 3: 17 & 18

It is a new month and I dont want to bore you with my own problems, but know that even when things seem especially bleak, our Father, our King is asking us to trust Him...and I am learning to do that.

During the most trying periods of my life, there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
"Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

PS - If anyone knows of any scholarships/grants for international students in grad.school, please holla at a sister.

MUGABE! And we thought Abacha was bad?

2009-02-28T18:48:00.022-05:00

Ravishing his 85kg cake
courtesy: sky.news.com

It is the understatement of the decade to say Mugabe's tyranncy is on another level. Yesterday, the old useless (emphasis added) man celebrated his 85th birthday in grande style while the country is crippled with inflation and ravaged with cholera and hunger. His cake was 85kg (imagine a cake heavier than me?! - uhhh, was he trying to be funny?). We thought Abacha was bad? This guy is d original devil; he must be stepfather to Idi Amin, and great uncle to Abacha and IBB.

And I know this may sound scientifically unfounded but I can bet (***500,000 zim dollars***) that Robert Gabriel Mugabe suffers from some severe psychiatric disease.

***Zim inflation rate: 231,000,000 %***

Mr. JB

2009-02-25T19:37:00.007-05:00

Mr. JB came into clinic today.
He made my day.
I did a physical on him,
Half the time, I had no idea what I was doing...
But
He gave me the best gift I have received this past few months,
He said, "You took very good care of me, and I would never forget that."
Though with schiz. and without family nor friends,
He blessed me.
I hope he felt the same way.

"Dancing on the graves of our forefathers..."

2009-02-22T07:27:00.021-05:00

So I am sure many have now heard about the proposed $3.4million tourist slavery memorial to be built in Badagry...nah let me re-phrase that: it is a slavery-themed-luxury resort. Now, that is the most perfect oxymoron I have seen in years (slavery and luxury packed together in one sentence). And I kid you not when I say slavery and luxury- as in, the idea is that tourists will be able to walk to the point of no return and then go to play a round of golf !!??!...or they would be able to view the graves of their ancestors from their luxorious hotel windows !!??! The genius behind the idea? - Marlon Jackson, one of the Jackson 5 brothers.

People! talk about indignation! And as if a luxorious slavery resort is not enough...there would also be a museum on the resort dedicated to the music of the Jackson 5. Jackson's premise is that the museum would lure several African Americans to Nigeria to reflect on their roots. Of course, it would...with golf and cocktails...

Without question, there is something sooo fundamentally wrong here. True, Badagry doesnt even compare to the historical slavery sites in Ghana or Senegal (see pics here of Badagry now from Linda Ikeji's blog)...but if we want to transform Badagry into a massive tourist attraction, then we should honorably do so. Slavery is a very serious issue, and this idea of a luxorious slavery resort makes nonsense of what slavery truly means for all of us. I mean, common, how can anyone in their right mind reflect on the point of no return and then go and play golf?!!? In the words of Don Adinuba, "It's like dancing on the graves of dead people and telling them you're honouring them."

Also, is it me or am I failing to see the connection btwn the Jackson 5 music and slavery???! Please, Mr. Jackson, we are for real here - If you want to honor your music, that's fine... but not at the expense of our very delicate and sensitive history. Thank you very much, sir, but we Nigerians are proud and honorable and we would not stoop to mock our ancestors by such a shameless money-making venture.

From a patient's perspective...

2009-02-17T09:01:00.028-05:00

When I walk in through that door,
Who do you think I am?
Am I another body for you to probe and poke?
Or another tool for your medical student?
Am I more paperwork that needs to be dealt with?
Or am I a potential case report?

It has been five years now
since everything started;
All too soon, I am told
there is something wrong with my body yet again,
Another specialist I would have to see
Dr. on my cell phone list is growing longer as the months fly by
And here I am,
waiting to be prodded and poked yet again

Hello, we greet each other,
You shake my hand
And your grip is as unmistakably firm
as is your aura of confidence…
Our positions now established:
I am the frail and helpless patient,
And you are my all-knowing doctor

You take some of my history,
And start the dreaded physical exam,
You are lost in deep thought
as you try to determine what is wrong with this frail body;
I lie still in the bed,
My eyes affixed on the ceiling,
The probing and poking have become all too familiar now

All of this…
I am sick and tired of it all
...all of it
My sense of worth – my body
has endured so much invasion in these past few years
More times than I can bear to remember

Of course, you get along with your quest,
What do you care how I have coped with all of this?
You have a mission,
and I am your tool,
But I cannot help but wonder who I am to you besides the stats that lie before you?
Who am I, doc?
You are after all, the all-knowing doctor…

Note on poem: i am still very much experimenting with poetry, and so while this may be lacking in poetic elements, i wrote this to highlight particular experiences of people i know (unnamed for obvious reasons...I promise, this is not my personal experience so dont waste any of your emotions on me:-)

If you feel comfortable sharing any stories or emotions that you have towards your health care (or health care in general in any country - be it good or bad experiences) please please do so (anonymously of course, or as you so desire)...It could be an experience relating to you or someone else. I am starting to collect (real-life) stories of patients.

THEIR STORY, YOURS, MINE -
IT'S WHAT WE ALL CARRY WITH US ON THIS TRIP WE TAKE, AND WE OWE IT TO EACH OTHER TO RESPECT OUR STORIES AND LEARN FROM THEM."

-- WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS
PHYSICIAN AND POET
(1883-1963)

(Re-)discovery of Nayo...

2009-02-14T12:51:00.020-05:00

I am always late. Literally. Thats old tori...but I am also always months to years behind on the music scene. So uh, the song African girl is by Nayo? okkk.

Yea, I only just (re-) discovered Nayo (full name - Temitope Odunayo Abidoye).

Hopefully, you aren't as late as I am and you are already enjoying her music. But...if you haven't heard about her and you are in love with Sade or Asa's music, you might also like Nayo.

Check her out...

Abegi, carry your valentine go

2009-02-13T20:39:00.026-05:00

I have had 5 gallons of haterade tonight, and I am still soaking it all up.

Dont blame me, it is what is doing me as I sit don here so for this night and in this place called konnectmenot. I was reminiscing with friends a little while ago about how Feb 14 (choke) used to be a day to seriously look forward to...(sigh)...those were d days...secondary school days are so past now....and here I am still with this gust of nostalgia...remembering those who got buckets and soaps for valentines, and those who were pranked with eba (fufu) & toothpaste cake, or those who got the good ol' fashioned chocolates and flowers. hm hm hm, those were d days. at least you got something, regardless of if it was a mama-put dish or a wickedly crafted eba cake.

Back to reality.

I am living in a city with no smell of African testoterone. Or I lie? hm mh. But whatever the case is, there is not enough to go around. Not good, people. Not good. Which is why I am so not feeling all these v-day vibes....and especially not when in this country, they take down all the christmas gifts and decorations as soon as new year's is over to put up what? teddy bears with big red hearts (choke). And most def., it does not help that I haven't spoken to the guy I was "talking to" in 3 wks....someone I was gradually beginning to really like after many years... and all of this beef after one particularly delicious late-night-to-dawn talk..................so much for my tattered heart (choke x 2).

[Please no pity party]
More haterade.

It makes it worse that most, if not all, of my friends back in gidi are in relationships, and some of the older ones are even already engaged...I am tres happy for them all....but its also scary!!! Question is what am I doing here in Connecticut??? because I wan go school??? na me sabi. I blame myself...but dont you sometimes wonder what things would be like if you had gone to sch. in naija?

Honestly, somedays, I wish I were going to school in 9j...living up the life of a hustler. I see pics of friends on facebook and I just yearn and yearn to be home. And I know, I know: God has a purpose and plan for my life, and mine is to be here in konnectmenot. But right now, I just want to not think about that. In fact, I should stop this hater-ramble here, and go get some icecream and brownies, and sit down in front of the tv and drown my sorrows....maybe I should go and see the movie He's just not that into you. Anyone seen the movie yet? Might be a good prescription for me right now huh?

In the words of a hater: Feb 14 (choke) is oh-so-over-rated....

(My nicer self would wish you a happy Valen...(choke) day! Here is that nicer self hoping you are thankful everyday for the loves you have in your lives and not just on 02.14).

A new generation of Nigerians

2009-02-09T03:53:00.006-05:00

Tochukwu Ezukanma writes. And I mean, this guy writes. As in, he writes volumes, and he does so, very articulately. I have to say he is quite an impressive writer. I have stumbled on some of his articles on Nigerian village square. Anyways, what brings me to talk about him is his most recent article A despicable form of journalism. In this article, Tochukwu lashes out at what he calls glamour magazines - basically, magazines like city people, ovation, xpression and their likes. According to him, these magazines not only enforce the fact that Nigerians do not have a reading culture, they also show how greedy and materialistic Nigerians are.

True? Or just plain mis-yarns?

Although his article is a little harsh, na true talk. The lekki, VI, Ikoyi area has become a showdown for who is who in Nigeria. Recently, I heard somwhere that Lekki is the fastest-growing landstrip in Africa. Obviously, this is great for the Nigerian economy. But the cost of the economy boom is the materialism and superficiality that now reigns in Nigeria. These newly rich generation of Nigerians flaunt their marble houses, thier fleet of cars, and parade the private schools that are now jampacked in Lekki to serve the needs of Nigeria's rich. They load their children with so much money that the kidz dont even know what to do with the money. It has even become a trend to send young teenage children to England to complete secondary school - good for them that they can get a British Education but when you really get down to the matter, they are only doing so because a certain friend of theirs did the same, and they must to prove that they can as well.

Although I do not necessarily agree with Tochukwu that Nigerians do not have a reading culture (I think many of us still very well do), I am most def. on board with him on the fact that the new generation of rich Nigerians are too superficial. Nigerian women love fashion (I do too) - and there aint nothing wrong with that. But isnt our love for the good things of life clouding our development (both on the individual and national level)? Two to three years ago, "charity" fashion shows seemed to be on the rise in Lagos...some of my colleagues with clout in Nigeria would go home during the Christmas break to have "charity" fashion shows. Who am I to question the authenticity of such shows? However, what I do feel is that these so called "charity" fashion shows were just another venture for Nigerian women to show off thier materialism. And these glamour magazines will stop at nothing to feed fire to the superficiality of this new generation. In the words of Dele Mamodu (owner of ovation magz.), they celebrate wealth. And yes, they really do celebrate wealth and make other less glamorous people (like myself) feel like trash.

Am I just a hater? Maybe so, but I also like to get real. Dont get me wrong, I am not hating because I secretly wish I could live a glamorous life. On the contrary, I did go to a private school on Lekki and my family happens to live in lekki ...but I like to keep things in perspective. I personally do not have the strength (or the time for that matter) to keep up with the Adeola's and Chukwuka's - I like to look good, true... but not at the expense of spending fortunes on fashion. What makes me mad is the fact that while less than 10% of Nigerians can afford to be superficial, most of the population is still steeped in poverty. The Lekki, VI and Ikoyi area have become a facade of Lagos life. When you leave the Island and go into the mainland, then you see the real Lagos. Look, I am not saying that Dele Mamodu and company need to stop taking pictures of who was wearing what at whose party. What I am saying is that Nigerians cannot afford to copy the materialism/consumeric nature of the Western world. Rich Nigerians owe it to their children (and future generation) not to mindlessly spoil them, but to teach them the sound value of hardwork.